friday night out

i still love the thought of a good friday. going out or sitting outside on the porch where the hope and possibility of something exciting is waiting to happen in the late evening - maybe a new love, maybe just a one night stand, some dancing, some sparring, getting high, drinking a bottle or TWO and hopefully getting some kind of attention my soul is calling for. it's an addictive night. i have had friday night lust for as long as i can remember. but that's just it....lust...nothing good ever comes out of a friday night, nothing that will stay anyway. the night will linger into saturday which is the best part, going over and over it remembering every little detail. it will soon fade away into the monotony of a monday and then it's the I can't wait til friday feeling all over again.

i have stepped into a new day with wilder shoes and my fridays are gone just like his whiskey days. it seems they've turned into tuesdays. it's lunch at taco waco with free beans, it's full of laughs about the life we share and the little things we know about each other that are comforting, it's about staying and being sober, it's about being with a man who never pushed me to be me. it's a new calm dependable day, a day i can trust and ease into without any expectations or hesitations. i married a man who loves that i smear homemade butter all over my body and that I am goofy as hell or that I do get it wrong sometimes. and for that I am forever grateful. thank you Robert, i love you.